look what you made me do: a lot of people have asked me to make NFT games and I won’t because i’m not a fucking dumbass. now let me tell you why only a dumbass would get into NFT games.

THE REALLY SIMPLE VERSION

What’s Scarcity?

Multiplayer Betting

It’s Going To Happen Anyways/It’s The Future

Do You Know How Expensive Making Assets Is?!

“What If You Were The Only One To Own A Thing…”

  1. how do you anticipate the number of unique characters you’ll need to add to your game prior to its launch?
  2. are you placing a cap on your game’s growth by requiring yourself have at least one unique character per player (if the fantasy of your game is “this character is MINE and no one else has it…” how do you this without guaranteeing every player at least one unique character?)
  3. if every single character in the game is unique, and you’re Mario Kart 8, that means you have to come up with 39,000,000 unique characters. Can you actually make a character iconic when they’re one of 39,000,000? Mario’s iconic nature comes from the fact that anyone can play him. If only one player ever could, what’s the likelihood that Mario would ever become famous or iconic — and thus desirable?
  4. how do you balance 39,000,000 unique characters? where would you even start?
  5. if you decide “i’m not going to balance them, the stats are random,” how do you determine how a character rolls? Could players simply create a character over and over again, trying to roll a good one (like people do for good nature shinies in a pokemon game? it’s not fun!)
  6. if you’re not balancing them, has your game become pay to win? Name any game where “pay to win” actually helped the game succeed and players considered it a good thing. I don’t think you can.
  7. how much does it cost to create 39,000,000 cosmetically unique characters?
  8. do you really think players will be satisfied with just one character per game?
  9. part of the reason beanie babies were collectible (that fad died FAST, by the way — just like NFTs will lmao) was because people could collect them all. If you create limited runs of characters, like, say, 100 ultra-rare Olympics 2024 Princess Peaches and 10,000 September 11th Commemorative Never Forget Toads, then you’re creating artificial scarcity that’s more tolerable than “there’s only one” but you’re still gonna have a lot of people disappointed they couldn’t get one.
  10. Why would you want to create negative sentiment around your game?
  1. desire is low
  2. which means the money isn’t there
  3. and you need money to build assets
  4. but you need scarcity in order to create desire
  5. but for there to be scarcity you can’t create 39,000,000 unique models with something like 20 different sound effects each and custom animations and all that shit
  6. so you can’t actually have 39,000,000 people spending $60 each to buy Mario Kart
  7. and you’re gonna turn people away because they want Mario — an existing character who has cultural cache. Nobody knows who these NFT characters are and very few people want them. Some guy doing a twitter thread claiming someone offered him $900,000 for his NFT? Yeah, pretty sure he was offering it to himself to create demand.
  8. a pyramid scheme — which is what NFTs are, as they’re reliant on you converting a ton of people into customers who then convert other people into customers — requires tons of people to function, but a pyramid scheme based on scarcity cannot ever get tons of people involved because scarcity means you can’t build an audience.

“Loot Should Be Your Property”

medal of honor featuring a browning automatic rifle
a browning automatic rifle from call of duty vanguard. it looks newer.

The Fall of The House of Real Money

“Games Should Pay You To Play Them!”

“You should be figuring this out for me.”

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I do some freelance work, game design consulting, and I’ve worked on games Hardspace: Shipbreakers and created games like Adios and Paratopic.

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GB 'Doc' Burford

GB 'Doc' Burford

I do some freelance work, game design consulting, and I’ve worked on games Hardspace: Shipbreakers and created games like Adios and Paratopic.

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